Meijer's (pronounced like "meyer")

The Walmart of Michigan.






The guy who started it was Fred Meijer. Not to be confused with Fred Meyer, of course.

Oh no, this Fred Meijer of Michigan was nothing like Fred Meyer of Oregon.

Fred Meijer opened up a chain of hypermarket/retail stores, and what did Fred Meyer do??

Oh, wait....

The "Party Store"

To the non-Michigander, this may sound like a wonderful place filled with balloons, streamers and piñatas...

Do not be deceived.

Apparently, the term comes from prohibition times, when one could secretly go to a place like this to buy alcohol for a party.

To me, this is a sick joke.

I was very disappointed to find that these "party stores" are actually dirty liquor stores filled with smelly floors, alcohol, cigarettes and angry people.

Not my idea of a party.

"We don't have earthquakes here."

Just the other day, I was talking with Jen about earthquakes. If you are unsure about what these are, let me explain. Earthquakes are tremors under the earth caused by stress along fault lines (Thank you, dictionary.com). You may ask, "Why are you telling me what an earthquake is? Don't you think I know what an earthquake is?"

And to this, I would reply, "Apparently not if you are a Michigander."

"We don't have earthquakes here," said Jen. I was surprised to hear this, of course, having come from a state where earthquakes are a quite frequent natural phenomenon. However, I was also somewhat relieved. There are tornadoes here. So if I'm going to have to put up with that natural phenomenon... I would rather make it a trade. One is good enough for me, thank you. I believe I was just starting to feel comfortable with this new weather disaster area, which happens to exclude earthquakes, when this came on the news:

"5.2 EARTHQUAKE RATTLES SKY SCRAPERS, NERVES ACROSS MIDWEST

WEST SALEM, Ill. - Bricks shook loose and fell from buildings. Walls cracked. Books tumbled off shelves. A 5.2 magnitude earthquake centered near this southern Illinois town struck before dawn Friday, rocking skyscrapers in Chicago, 230 miles north of here."


Yay.